Saturday, May 06, 2006


Working for five straight days has eaten me up.

Working for three projects, one day job, one consultancy (night-)work has always been exciting until things change, people grow old, and in the middle of that, I forgot my parents' anniversary. The last time it happened was 11 years ago. When I was in a 'place where the two highways meet'. I chose the path going to the right. And right now, I just realize that it can be very busy and difficult.

Eleven years ago, I had all the time in the world to do the things that I like. Yet, I did not know where to go. I know my path now, yet I don't have much time to do what I love. Of course, there are a lot of other reasons why I can't. Not only-- time. Yet, it is the most that I need now.

I called my mother awhile ago to apologize for not being able to greet them. We had a good talk. She told me that my dad and her had a date during their anniversary. They talked about being a couple for thirty six long years. How they started and how they are now.

Things changed. People grow older.

Thursday, 8pm to 1230am-
styling Michi Calica's Bridal and Home

Then she asked me to remind my sister about their senior citizen card. And pushing alongside with being senior citizens, she asked me to go home for good because they are growing old. To take care of the family business. And everything that they manage. I asked for a year or two extension. "It is ok," she said. "Do whatever you like there first. But time will come that we really need your presence here."

I used to be the youngest in our family. I have two sisters. One is a doctor, married with one kid, and the other, a lawyer, married to her job. That leaves me to be the one who is the most practical candidate to settle in San Jose. How I wish it is California, but no. San Jose de Buenavista, Antique. Our youngest is a three year old boy, feisty and unmindful of the things around him. I promised my parents that I will take care of him when he grows to be a lad. They got him in their sixties. Quite the right age to become grandparents. He is part of the 'other things' my mom wanted me to take care of.

Our youngest, Tim
I have stayed here in Manila for half of my life. It has been a rough ride yet quite enjoyable. So many things learned, unlearned a few and still learning a lot. Gained a lot of friends, lost some, gaining more. Exciting, I should say. Stressful, no doubt as my hairline can prove it. I fell in love with the place, fell in love with the people. Fell a lot of times. I got to accept that life is really as it is.

Right now, I have a day job, three active projects, two dormant ones, two consultancy work and amidst all that, sprouts of quick and easy money diminutive projects that pay big bucks. I live alone just like how i pictured life eleven years ago, minus the hectic schedule.

I'm still ok.

Until I got to talk to my mom. I don't have to make a decision because it has been done already. I have thought about it few years back. I just don't know when. Two years.

"Do whatever you like there first. But time will come that we really need your presence here."

I guess, it will be very soon.

The time that I feared most has come to past.

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