Saturday, May 19, 2007
excited and scared...
It has been five months that I have been working as consultant. Basically the same work as I have been doing when I was still an employee. The best thing about it is that I am not required to press my thumb before entering the office on that machine which has a british accent. And yes, I am not 'required' to go to the office every single working day of the week.
A month later after having such status, I became consultant of another magazine. My non-requirement of going to the office every single working day became moot. I now go to Summit not because of some time-keeping requirement but because I need to-- it's work.
And thinking that I am officially a non-employee, projects sprout from all sides. I have developed branches and yes, twigs. Admittedly, I got excited with what the future holds for me now. When I was an employee, I had this bubble around me and everybody had this notion that all I do is style for the magazine. The bubble stopped me from doing other things yet at the same time, protected me from doing things I don't want to do. I got excited with what the future holds for me... excited and scared. The bubble is not there anymore.
Yet I get to explore more things. Soon, I will be entering another realm in media. I can still continue interior decorating. I can still style for magazines. I wonder what quality time is left for me after all these.
"Excited and scared.." as Little Red Riding Hood puts it in Into the Woods. She continues with, "Isn't it nice to know a lot. And a little bit not!"